Amy Poehler once said that ‘Ikea’ meant ‘anger’ in Swedish. Rather they are those spaces filled with mattresses, comfortable and chairs of firm that takes the worst of us. So much so that two psychologists, Gorkan Ahmetoglu (of University College London) and Suky Macpherson (British Psychological Society) have analyzed the causes of that Ikea is the fruit of so much evil roll and they have drawn conclusions that we can draw some wisdom teachings:
Losing sight of the goal of something we can disorient
According to Dr. Ahmetoglu, disorientation is key to much discussion at Ikea. Physical and emotional, in addition. On the one hand, it is the obvious: by many arrows that we put on the ground, all we have lost once in Ikea. And nobody wants to take an extra spin down the aisle of mattresses when we went to buy a lamp for the dining room.
And, on the other hand, suffer a certain emotional disorientation seeing those perfect domestic spaces that make us feel at home, even knowing that it is a technique of sale. That is, that we are tired, disoriented and lose the feeling of being in a public place. Conclusion? Raw singing.
-Sky, I’d swear that we have already passed through here.
-No, that does not… Follow the arrows and, taking this shortcut, arrive at the section of kitchens.
– But I think that we have taken the shortcut to reverse. This already sounds to me all have seen it.
-Maybe you will tell where we’re going, you know everything and sure you will find the road to the first.
-Well, at least I I miss in a damn furniture store.
-So very well!!
[Faces of disbelief and laughter by the public which screams]
Generalize a discussion can turn a small disagreement into a big problem
Dr. Macpherson believes that the word ‘always’ is a great enemy of the communication partner. So who does not has happened start a discussion of couple with a small misunderstanding and turn it into the mother of all battles? That is what we must avoid, and focus on particular disagreement we’ve had.
-Oh! Look! They have released the Lack table in mint Green! We take it?
– But, sweetheart, if you paste us nothing with the decoration of the room.
– But is so pretty… and it only costs 9.99!
-Well not nothing like me. And I have very clear that we have a site for her.
-Clear! For my stuff there is never room. We always have to do what you want.
But, eye, because behind a small disagreement can be a fundamental problem
Sometimes, we extrapolate the feelings of frustration by lead lives that we don’t like What we have more hand. And the breeding ground of Ikea is ideal to have on hand to see the kind of life that we would like to have reflected on a shelf.
– But seriously you like that comfortable? It seems freshly taken from the attic of my grandmother.
-Excuse me, is that for modernear are you. You and your fantastic idea of living in a loft without doors and privacy.
-Already tardabas you get that you don’t like our House.
-Always said he wanted to live in a rustic farm! And babies and dogs! And doors!
[And that’s how a couple realizes that a comfortable, in fact, is the least of their problems]
Solve the problems of coexistence is a fundamental step to enjoy a healthy relationship
Share our living space is not easy. It is often necessary that both members of the couple renounce some of its objects, customs and tastes. Dr. Macpherson warns that this may be a problem for people very selfish or narcissistic.
-Look, love, this one would be great to put my vinyl records in the classroom.
-Because I believe that, for vinyl (which never hear), they would be much better storage boxes that we purchased for the storage.
-Ah, of course! There is not space for my records, but for your photo albums of trips (which never look) we need to reserve a space, isn’t it?
-My photo albums are not going to go anywhere!
-As my vinyl either!!
We can become a good shared experience up to the everyday Act
If the discussion in Ikea made more, inevitably one of the two members of the couple will end up the visit in the car. If the visit was to buy some basic essential… okay. But, if one of the two members of the couple was excited to share the experience of looking for things in common, the disappointment will be double.
-Go to the section of frames and blades.
– But pictures do we need?
-Well, then, let’s go now, that have been here three hours.
-If you didn’t want to come, you could have stayed at home.
-Is that I did not know that we were going to be here all day!
-Then go to the car!
-Well, I’m going!
Money counts, much clearer, better
It does not have too much experience in relationships to understand that money can be a source of conflict. And, at the time of shopping, logically, come to the surface. The recommendation of Ahmetoglu to prevent this is a classic: write a list of what you want to buy and stick strictly to her.
-Leave those candles where you can see them. They are not on the list.
-Andaaaa… If only they cost 99 cents.
-Said that the list and nothing more than the list. If not, we started for 99 cents and just for 99 euros.
-Clear… For my candles there is no budget, but for the knuckle you’ve gotten between chest and back at the onsite restaurant Yes, isn’t it?
-It was my food! If you want to, you can eat the candles if you want.
-It seems to me that you’re going to eat you if you don’t shut your mouth me.
[And so… to infinity]
If we have managed to exit Ikea without a discussion, we can be proud. But don’t sing victory: remains mounted the laborious process of installation. Unless, wisely, we elect to the simplest option: